Don’t take anything personally

 “If you are distressed by something external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment” Marcus Aurelius

I know what your thinking; why have I used a picture of spiderman? The answer is that if you can train yourself to take nothing personally, it’s a superpower! In terms of mental health, you will become invincible.

Here is the key principle – nothing anyone does or says is because of you, it’s because of them. Before your ego runs away with that idea, the same applies to you too – nothing you do is because of someone else, it’s because of you! This is as much about accountability as it is about resilience.

When someone says something to you that makes you feel a certain way, good or bad, they aren’t really talking to you, they are talking to their own inner representation of you. The inner representation is their own personal perception of you based on information they have gathered through their senses of sight and sound and also their own thoughts. Any of their pre-existing beliefs will also help shape this image. It’s almost like we carry a hologram of all the people we know around with us in our heads.

The hologram may seem accurate, but it will never match the real thing. In fact, sometimes it might be wildly inaccurate.

If someone insults you, it’s their inner representation of you in their own head they are insulting. You’ve probably already noticed that an insult tells you more about the person giving it than it does about the intended victim.

This is why you should never take anything personally.

If you found this blog useful, then you might enjoy the The Four Agreements, a book by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Why not book a consultation now by calling 07401127872 or by messaging through the website?

I offer therapy online or locally in Sheffield.

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