How attitude can change your world

How attitude can change your world

Why is attitude so important? Well, have you ever worked with someone, perhaps in an office, who had a terrible negative attitude? Do you remember how draining this can be?

The fact is our attitude toward life will be a major factor in how we experience and perceive the world. One way to think about your perception of the world is to imagine it as a map. Remember that a map is a guide and it’s not the territory.

In the same way, your perception of the world is not the same as the world itself. You experience the world through your senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell. From these five senses, you gradually build your unique map and most importantly, these senses are filtered through your attitude into your experience. Your attitude has the amazing ability to completely re-organise your map of the world and change your experience.

For instance, if we approach each day with an attitude of gratitude then we can get much more value from our experiences. Anything that seems to be a problem or unpleasant can be approached with the question “what can I learn from this…what can it teach me?”.

Every obstacle becomes an opportunity, turning negative into positive. This also becomes infectious and I’m sure you can recall meeting a person with this infectious positive energy.

Conversely, if we have an attitude that we are a victim and the world is unfair, then this will create a very negative and stressful experience for us and those around us.

It’s a simple choice that will be the difference between being positive and empowered or negative and unhappy. Which attitude will you choose?

Healing from trauma

Healing from trauma

How do we heal from Trauma?

As a solution focused therapist, I don’t often delve into the past. Having said that, we all have a past and almost everyone has experienced some kind of trauma, during either childhood or more recently.

Every trauma is relative to our own life experience and it’s important to keep this perspective. For example, Prince Harry famously reported the experience of being trapped in a Royal Palace as being traumatic in relation to his own experience and his perception of freedom.

It’s not for us to judge Prince Harry or to dismiss his experience based on our own perception of his privilege either. The point of this example is that suffering is something unique to the individual and it’s a well-known truism that wealth does not equate to happiness or contentment.

Buddha himself was from a wealthy family and his real name was Siddhattha Gotama. He was so upset with all the poverty and suffering he saw in his community in India, that he gave up his wealth to live a simple pious life and seek enlightenment within. The rest, as they say, is history.

When it comes to trauma, it can be hard to understand what keeps us attached to the memories. Surely if it’s in the past and the past no longer exists, then we can detach from it and move on? If only it were always that simple…

Although this process can be difficult and lengthy for some, therapy can really help. Being able to talk about memories and re-frame them is of great value. For others, it’s more helpful to remain future focused and just change what can be changed with a positive attitude. Control the controllables if you will.

The philosopher Alan Watts used to say that the only way to change the past is to forgive. This is a powerful message. Forgiveness can be to yourself or to others and not being willing or able to do this can often be the barrier between suffering and healing.

Forgive yourself, forgive others where you can and most of all, be kind to yourself.